My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes!

cover by Brandon Duncan

"Have you ever had one of those nights when you could swear in front of a court of law that you haven’t had a wink of sleep, but the prosecutor would have a field day with details concerning your alarm clock going off after what seemed like only an hour and your lingering memories of mischievous lawn furniture?"

Forget everything you know about life, the world, and all the objects in it. Bradley Sands can bend them to his will with a frightening disregard for reality. You never know who, or what, is lying in wait behind the next comma. Whether it's Super Noxious Air Man and his sidekick, Kid Centrifugal Force, or the next episode of Teddy the Rottweiler Spayer, Sands keeps you off-balance with laughter and astonishment.

These stories are crammed with the delightfully odd and the scurrilously silly. From moment to moment My Heart Said No requires the most unexpected, perplexing, and hilarious leaps of faith. But you'll be glad you took this exhilarating jump into uncharted territory.

Published by Raw Dog Screaming Press

Order a copy from the publisher or Amazon.

Also, personalized, autographed (softcover) copies are available. During this special one-time offer, I will use my eerie powers to predict the cause of your death. Already, I can see something comical interfering with your respiratory system's ability to function. It will delight your friends and family, helping them through their emotional pain with the power of laughter. Accuracy guaranteed or your money back. Click the Paypal button below and kiss your ignorance goodbye. (U.S. residents only. Email for international shipping rates. Also email if you're interested in a hardcover copy.)

$12.95 (plus $2 shipping)

Click here to read a sample story.

Blurbs:

There's a place past all reason, most possibility, and all the jokes I can think of. A place shaped kind of like the human heart. Bradley Sands doesn't write about this place, but he writes from it, pushing farther into the unguessable with each word, each scene.

Stephen Graham Jones, author of DEMON THEORY & IT CAME FROM DEL RIO

There is a disorienting alchemy at work in Bradley Sands' fiction. Here phantasmagoria shifts into stand-up and the avant-garde saddles up besides the geek. Imagine: a hyper-palimpsest beneath which burbles a heady brew of surrealism, poetry, memoir, and horror all set to a DaDa soundtrack that sounds surprisingly like the End of the World.

Rayo Casablanca, author of 6 SICK HIPSTERS & VERY MERCENARY

Reading this collection is like ingesting a bag of fun-colored candy, removing your stomach, and then taking it to a party for use as a pinata. Some readers will love these stories, some readers will hate them but, displayed throughout, is a true love of language and a generous dose of creativity.

Andersen Prunty, author of THE BEARD

Reviews:

"A Bradley Sands story is not like any story you’ve read before… [Sands] discounts reality in a way that renders it obsolete. The book’s strength lies in the way irreverent images are juxtaposed, repeatedly, often rhythmically, creating a sensation that has no use for the traditional confines of literature." [Read more...]
Outsider Writers Collective

"Throughout, Sands displays an adept knack for twisting familiar words and phrases into new forms, altering their meaning while poking fun at the overused, the clichéd." [Read more...]
decomP